Well, I went out yesterday to get new clothes for myself. I figure I might as well start out feeling somewhat good about myself. I don't know if I said this but I am currently 281.6 lbs and my five year old I weighed him today and he is 99.8 lbs. Yes, I felt bad. It really hurts me that I have played a major part in this issue. I am going to do right by him if it kills me. I want to at least give him half a chance to live a healthy life. I am so afraid that either of us will get diabetes or something and then what. I don't want to make a change because something has happened. I want to make a change before it happens.
It feels good, just putting this on paper so to speak. If no one reads it, that will be fine. I think at least it is a release for me. If someone reads it, hopefully it will give them a chance to either give constructive helpful words of advice or it will serve as a way to start a network of parents who want to do differently for themselves and their children. I see a brighter future ahead. I felt great today. Absolutely wonderful. I packed myself and my son a healthy lunch and we had a healthy dinner.
Keep praying for me.
Step One:
I have admitted that I am powerless over my addiction and that my life has become unmanageable because of it. I keep focusing on this step too. I pray that God will deliver me and help me to overcome. I know that I can not do it alone.
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